Inferno 3: Episode 3

Ladies and gentlemen, my prayers have been answered. Every time I have myself convinced that there are only 4-5 people on Earth that actually read this stupid blog (counting myself twice), something magical happens. John Murray must have this bookmarked, because after two weeks of begging and pleading, MTV finally got it right. The network has lovingly gone back to airing afternoon sneak previews of all 10 Spot programming, and actually kept the show exactly within the posted time limits. This is awesome for three reasons:

1. The DVR recognizes the 3:30 showing of The Inferno 3 as the "First run on this channel," so I can now watch it as soon as I get home from work.
2. The recording started at the perfect moment, but even if it didn't, I can tolerate Next or Date My Mom spillover way more than Papa Roach Presents: The Compound Fracture Half-Hour or whatever the hell is on at 8:30PM
3. Because of the newfound respect for timeslots, I was able to see previews for next week's episode.

Konichiwa, MTV. I appreciate it.

Did anyone else see the uncannily frightening similarities between the some events of this episode and our country's current foreign affairs situation. I would say that this is intentional, but I am not sure if I am willing to give MTV that much credit anymore. For me, The Real World: Seattle was the last time I felt like any of MTV's "reality programming" had any connection with actual reality.

But back to my theory. All things considered, this may be a bit of a stretch, but here are a few examples, stated as concisely as possible:

• When it became clear Rachel would most likely be going into the Inferno, almost everyone talked about her supposed supremacy among this season's other girls and the ease of which she would dominate any opponent.
• When Derek sees the apparatus for the Life Shield mission, he says "If that thing breaks, you are dead." I haven't heard an overstatement like that since George Tenet called the case against Saddam a "slam-dunk."
• Rachel, the seemingly stronger of the combatants, get off to an impressive early start but is worn down by Jen's unconventional style of competition. Shock and Aw. Insurgents. Think about it.
  

Admittedly, they seemed a lot more prolific when I was sitting at work this afternoon spacing out during a conference call. Moving on...

Despite watching the episode three times I still can not wrap my head around what, exactly, they were supposed to do in the Life Shield mission. From the looks of it, I guess it is pretty easy to deduce that Susie won fair and square, but I would be lying if I didn't say I am still a little confused. One thing that was crystal clear is that her partner was Alton, and they were the only ones to finish the mission. Ergo: ALTON IS A STEED!

The bad news for Susie is that this task appeared to fall into the "impossible unless you had Alton on your team" category anyways, so she effectively wasted her "Throw the mission for me" card pretty early in the game.

A few more thoughts:

• They need to stop filming Tonya do anything. I haven't seen camera presence that bad since The Erotic Traveler 2: Lost in Ecstasy.
• I love the growing tension between Aneesa and Ev. It is only a matter of time before they get in a fist fight/make love.